


Emotionally Hers

by spilled_notes



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Appreciation Week, Berena Appreciation Week 2018, Canon Divergence, Episode Tag, F/F, emotionally yours, meddling ric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spilled_notes/pseuds/spilled_notes
Summary: What if Bernie changed her mind about joining Serena and Ric for a drink at the end of Emotionally Yours? And what if Ric took the opportunity to do a bit of meddling on his friends' behalf?





	Emotionally Hers

Serena’s most of the way down her second glass when Ric’s curiosity gets the better of him. ‘So what happened then, between you and Bernie?’

‘Nothing, really,’ Serena sighs.

‘You’re like this over nothing?’

‘We kissed, alright.’

'And?’

‘And what?’ Serena asks testily.

‘Well, was it a good kiss?’

‘It was a bloody marvellous kiss,’ Serena says, unable to keep from smiling at the memory of it, the softness of Bernie’s lips and the strength of her grasp and the taste of–

‘And you’d like to do it again?’

‘Mm, contrary to all prior expectations I would.’

Her gaze fixed on the wine left in her glass as she gently swirls it, Serena doesn’t notice Ric’s head go up, his eyes resting on something behind her.

‘You like her, don’t you?’ he asks, more gently.

‘I do,’ Serena replies quietly. ‘She’s my best friend, Ric, but I feel so much more for her – felt it before, I just didn’t realise exactly what _it_ was.’

‘What would you say to her, if she were here now?’

‘It doesn’t matter, does it? She made it clear she wanted to forget about it.’

‘Humour me?’ Ric insists, his gaze still fixed over her shoulder.

Serena sighs. ‘I’d tell her– I’d tell her that being scared isn’t the same as not wanting something. That I was surprised and reacted badly, and I’m sorry. That I’ve never felt like this before, about anyone.’

Ric smiles, gestures to the lad behind the bar for another round and then stands up. ‘I won’t be a moment,’ he says, resting his hand on Serena’s arm for a moment before slipping away.

Serena nods, drains her glass and takes a sip from the fresh one that appears on the bar alongside another whiskey for Ric.

‘I’m afraid that seat’s taken,’ she says as someone perches on Ric’s vacated stool.

‘Did you really mean all that?’

Serena looks up sharply to meet Bernie’s wide, disbelieving, hopeful eyes.

‘Every word,’ Serena replies, her heart pounding.

Bernie doesn’t say anything, just picks up the tumbler of whiskey and takes a sip.

‘If you truly want to forget that it ever happened then I’ll never mention it again, although I can’t promise never to think about it. But please just be honest with me, Bernie, instead of doing what you think is best for me.’

Bernie stares down at the amber liquid, takes a breath before meeting Serena’s eye. ‘I can’t forget it,’ she says softly. ‘God, how could I, Serena? I think about it all the time, think about _you_ all the time. I just– I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.’

‘It did rather knock me for six,’ Serena admits.

And then she slides her hand across the bar, slow enough to give Bernie chance to stop her, to pull her hand away. But she doesn’t, she stays perfectly still as Serena’s little finger comes to rest beside hers, just barely touching.

‘So where do we go from here?’ Bernie asks.

‘Will you let me take you out, for dinner? I know a nice little Italian.’

‘Does it, by any chance, have an extensive wine list?’

‘You know me so well,’ Serena smiles, and then becomes serious again. ‘I really do want this, Bernie. You. It was just quite a surprise to realise it at our time of life, and on the floor of my own theatre at that.’

‘My timing could have been better,’ Bernie says ruefully. ‘I just had to kiss you, it was the only thing I could think to do.’

‘I’m very glad you did,’ Serena says, rubbing her finger against Bernie’s ever so slightly.

‘I don’t want to mess us up, Serena. I care about you so much and you’re so important to me. I couldn’t bear to hurt you, to lose you.’

‘Is that fear strong enough that you’re willing to miss out on what we could be, what we could have together?’

Bernie opens her mouth, but before she can reply Morven slips between the two of them and leans against the bar. Across the room Serena can see Ric with his hand outstretched as if he tried to stop her, sees him mouth an apology. Bernie draws her hand away from Serena’s to pick up her glass and takes a sip as they wait for Morven to order; Serena tries to listen to her, tries to nod and smile and make appropriate noises in the right places, but she’s distracted by watching Bernie’s face, trying to work out what she was about to say.

Suddenly they’re surrounded by a swarm of junior doctors. Serena rolls her eyes and is glad to see Bernie smile in response, is even more glad when she picks her glass up and tilts her head towards the door. She nods, picks up her wine and follows, wending through the gaggle of juniors and breathing a sigh of relief when she steps outside. Bernie is leaning against the wall, and Serena can’t keep her gaze from sweeping up her legs before meeting her eye.

‘I’m terrified too,’ Bernie confesses, when Serena comes to lean beside her. ‘I might’ve kissed a woman before, but I’ve never felt like this either.’

‘You– you haven’t?’

Bernie shakes her head, lets out a long, slow breath and sips her whiskey. ‘We’re in this together.’

Serena takes a sip of wine for courage, then reaches for Bernie’s hand and links their little fingers. ‘Then let’s do it together – be scared and uncertain, but together. I think we’ve proved we can do anything together, Bernie. Why should this be any different?’

‘Because I’m good at surgery. I’m not so good at relationships.’

‘I don’t exactly have a stellar track record either,’ Serena reminds her. ‘But surely between us we can figure it out.’

‘You really want me?’ Bernie asks, looking down at their joined hands and then into Serena’s eyes.

‘I do,’ Serena smiles softly.

‘Then when would you like to take me out?’

‘How about Friday? Neither of us is working or on call over the weekend, so we can stay out as late as we want.’

‘And drink as much wine as we want,’ Bernie teases.

‘Is that a yes?’

‘It’s a very definitely, with bells on,’ Bernie smiles. She glances up and down the street, at the firmly closed pub door, then swiftly leans to brush her lips against Serena’s. ‘Think of that as a down payment,’ she murmurs as she draws away.

‘A taste of what’s to come?’ Serena asks, her eyes sparkling, her finger caressing Bernie’s.

‘Oh, I think you’ve already had one of those.’

‘As I said earlier, I’ve never seen the point of just one,’ Serena says with a wink.

Bernie checks the street again, then grabs Serena’s hand and pulls her into the alley down the side of the pub. She pushes her against the wall and kisses her, properly this time, until it’s all she can do to keep her hand wrapped around her glass so it doesn’t smash on the floor.

‘Better?’

‘It’ll do for now,’ Serena smiles. With her free hand she strokes the lapel of Bernie’s jacket, lets her thumb stray to the bare skin of her collarbone and watches as she caresses it, feather light. She feels Bernie shiver, feels her shuddering exhale whisper across her face, looks up to find Bernie’s gaze tracing across her features, like she can’t believe she’s allowed to, like she can’t look away.

‘We should go back in,’ Bernie says reluctantly, like she’s having to force every word out against her will.

‘Mm, Ric’s going to be smug enough as it is, without him thinking we’ve been getting up to anything out here,’ Serena agrees, and then she frowns. ‘Why did you change your mind?’

‘I sat in our office and instead of putting a dent in my mountain of paperwork like I intended, I ended up staring at your empty chair,’ Bernie admits. ‘So I gave up. And I was going to go home but we’d had such a good day, things felt good between us again, and I just wanted to see you one more time, spend just half an hour more with you in case it was a fluke and it was the only chance I got.’

‘That’s why I asked you too,’ Serena says softly, with a sad little smile.

‘I’m glad I said no,’ Bernie smiles. ‘Even more glad I changed my mind.’

‘So am I,’ Serena replies. And then she kisses Bernie again, because she wants to, because she _can_ , because Bernie’s looking at her like that and how is she supposed to resist?


End file.
